{"id":132,"date":"2025-12-16T01:48:27","date_gmt":"2025-12-16T01:48:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/andersenmorse.com\/?p=132"},"modified":"2026-01-01T17:49:40","modified_gmt":"2026-01-01T17:49:40","slug":"sam","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/andersenmorse.com\/?p=132","title":{"rendered":"sam"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<pre class=\"wp-block-code\"><code>  I see you in that great cosmic armchair. Looking down and through that thin veil. I find myself feeling foolish to think that we can still convene. I cannot but help feel that way through the multitude of ways that I struggle and stumble. Have you been watching? I thought it would be decades yet before I had a friend so young on the other side. Is it foolish to believe that you\u2019re in the same form. That you may even look in the same way when we knew each other? Am I foolish to think that you might just come down and be that force behind the breeze that pushes at my back. \n\n  I want to hope that you aren\u2019t worried about us. That you\u2019ve transcended that which all of us that remain are still stuck in here below. You\u2019ve re-assimilated into infinity. Freed. Whisked away. You see truth. Its possible to hear that laugh, if we only knew. Enlighten us please. I bet you wish you could. Free me from all of these thoughts, this foolishness of feeling that I don\u2019t belong. That I\u2019ve been assembled wrong and wrought with too many inefficiencies. Disparaged by everything that remains outside of my front door. Your absence has only incurred more aimless wanderings. All of these things get jumbled in my head, and I\u2019ve only grown attached to each one, not wanting to give up any one. \n\n  Perhaps I am just addicted to the sadness of the world. Can you blame me for weeping for everyone. The children that are brought into what we endure. The inevitable heartbreak that accumulates and in the end devours. There is a somber current that meanders through it all. The purity of the passion that rules our existence. Unlocking permission to feel the full spectrum of life. The permission that your death brings. Morbid gifts, forgive me. I hate the impulse to find any value. That I could derive any benefit at all. I want to feel alive but not in this way. \n\n  Is it possible to be forgiven for each time that I forgot. For each time that I could have seen you. Each time that I stayed away. All the guilt that remains for not being the friend that could have been. Letting all of this time pass, and having still done nothing to make anything better. There is regret that inspires me to repair the chasm the chaos of the lives creates. Estranged yet still from everyone around me, but feeling all of the love that still has the chance to be expressed. Can they forgive me for not being there. Your finality creeps into my own existence. \n\n  I\u2019ll never know whats become of you. That spark that played across your face in a mischievous smile. Perhaps its been split, and divided out, scattered between all those hearts which have you have loved. Splayed out into infinity, intact in potency, fragments pulling themselves back together, keeping us all out in this world from becoming too alone. <\/code><\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-132","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/andersenmorse.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/andersenmorse.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/andersenmorse.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andersenmorse.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andersenmorse.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=132"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/andersenmorse.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":133,"href":"https:\/\/andersenmorse.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132\/revisions\/133"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/andersenmorse.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=132"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andersenmorse.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=132"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andersenmorse.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=132"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}